Well, another day another headache. I took some tylenol so hopefully it wont turn into a full-blown migraine.
Last night was relaxing. I came home and hung out with "MsMoHoney" and her cousin for a little bit. She is going through her own tough time right now and I wish there was something I could do to make it a little bit easier for her. All I can do is giver her my love and support.
No word from "MrCuriousGeorge" AKA "Snoopy" AKA "MrCostanza". I spent most of my night signed offline anyway. I wouldnt know what to say to him if he did pop up. I am still upset and embarrassed with him reading my papers. He obviously doesnt feel the same and I cant keep trying to lie to myself with the hope that he does. "MsMoHoney" was right when she said "Hope is a lying bitch, yet everday I still hope". Right now I am running on false hope. What do I expect the outcome to be? Do I really think he is going to come tell me that he loves me so much that he will stay? Do I think he cares enough to ask me to go with him? Of course not! Its that false hope that continues to course through my veins and keep me alive with "just maybe".
I cant do this anymore. These tears are turning me to rust...and I want to shine. I have so much shining left to do. Not that I care about him any less, I just cant continue to put myself through this anymore. This isnt the end of the world ya know. I have been through alot worse and come out unscarred. This will be no different. I have to keep taking into account that life has many directions and you cant force anything...what is meant to be, will be.