Ahh, I just got in from having lunch with "MrCuriousGeorge". It was really nice. We sat there talking. At first, I was a little taken aback that he didnt want to spend his time coming over here, but then it got me thinking...he sees me as a little bit more than just sex. Or at least I like to think that. He asked me again if I was definitely moving back east. I sure want to. I just dont know if I can. I am working on it though. We'll see. I have been contemplating it for several years, now I have the motivation to do so.
What was more funny was this morning I asked him to get a phone number of a guy he worked with for me. I have been friends with this other guy for some time now...he is gay and has two other gay roommates that I am friends with. They all just moved into the apartment building across from me and I dont know which apartment they are in. So when I asked him to get the number for me this morning, he asked me, "the gay guy?". Well, while we were at lunch, he asked me "so what do you want with him?" I explained to him that I am good friends with his roommates and had lost touch with them since they moved. His response..."they are gay too, right?". That makes me laugh. Do I sense a little possessiveness? That would be nice.
Each time I spend time with him, makes it harder for me to say goodbye in the long run. Yet, I dont want to miss an oppurtunity to be with him while I can. Its such a double edged sword.
So, he went on to the gym and I came home to attempt this cleaning thing one more time. Wish me luck! As I was cleaning I came across this poem I had put in my scrap book. I dont know where it came from or how it got there...but it's very fitting. I thought I would share it with you.
~Comes the Dawn~
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesnt mean leaning
and company doesnt mean security
And you begin to learn that kisses arent contracts
and presents arent promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plan
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure, that you really do have worth
and you learn and learn...with every goodbye you learn.