Someone, please make the pain go away. I cant take it anymore. It hurts so much...make it stop!
I had left my computer signed online all night. Well, at exactly 8:00 as I was getting ready to shut down and leave for work, "MrCuriousGeorge" sent me an instant message. I was ready to call in late. I have moments left with him...MOMENTS! And I will take as many of them as I can get. He leaves in an hour and a half. Maybe less than that now.
So I talked to him for a few. A few minutes later, I HAD to go. I told him if I didnt get to work, I would be fired forcing me to leave for MD today. It took all I had to sign off. I wanted to talk to him forever. I want to hold on to every mili-second I have left with him. I dont want to let go. Its hard just thinking about it. So, I asked him to call me later. His response..."perhaps". I expect that. Today is his first day on the road and he has a lot going on. I just hate the word "perhaps". Its the same word he used in his email to me.
Driving into work today was hard. I cried the whole way. My car just wanted to drive itself to his house. To say goodbye one last time. To see him one last time. To hold him one last time. To kiss him one last time. You have no idea how hard this is for me. I dont think you know just how much this is tearing me apart inside. You dont know how badly I want to get into my car, drive home, pack up as much as I can get into my little car and head out to the east coast.
I know its silly to consider moving that far for some guy. Yes, I totally agree there. He wouldnt be my only reason for leaving...but he would be the biggest. I have been here 8 yrs. I have been through many things and learned many things. I dont regret being here. I have just, in the words of "MrCuriousGeorge", "run my course out here". Being here has made me the person that I am. Its just time to go home now.