Today was pretty fun. I didnt do too much in the morning, just sat around talking to "Ms2inchman" and "MrFetish" when we all eventually woke up. I did talk to "MrCuriousGeorge" online for a little bit.
"MsBoobsalot" called me and wanted to know if I wanted to catch a movie with her and a friend. We went and saw The Sign...it was creepy. After that, the three of us headed back to her house and just hung out talking. I hadnt seen her in a while and it was nice.
It was so nice to be out and not thinking about things. I got home and started thinking again. I just dont know why I feel the way I do. I dont know why I cant snap out of this blue funk that I am in. I dont know why I feel like there is this black cloud that hovers over me and follows me everywhere I go. I got two calls from my mother today. That can never be a good sign. I dont know what to tell her. I just cant make up my mind. I do know I am not ready to live with MY MOTHER!
I have been trying so desperately to weigh out all the pros and cons of going and staying. I dont know if I am ready to give up as much as I have for the unknown. I dont know what it will be like if I go back there. Yet, I dont want to pass up a chance to grow and gain more by staying so stagnant here. My life is not changing here. I do the same damn thing everyday. Nothing ever changes. But, I am still scared to let go of that.
I just wish there was some way to know what the right choice is. I can think of a million reasons to stay...and a million reasons to go.