I really do hate mondays. I hate my job in general. If it didnt pay me as well as it does, I would be outta there.
I came home, like I normally do...signed on to the internet...like I normally do. And what do you know, here I am. When my Yahoo pulled up I had an offline message from "MrCuriousGeorge". It was a cute message. So I wrote him back. I have been online for about an hour now talking to "MsBoobsalot". "MrCuriousGeorge" did pop up and we talked for a few minutes. He frustrates me so much sometimes.
I need to come to a decision soon and run with it. I need these damn Wellbutrins to start kicking in. I thinks it been a few weeks now. What is the hold up? I need to start feeling better...any time now. I need to get my head out of my ass and throw my heart out the window. Neither one are being of any help to me right now. Its now been a week later and I still havent moved his towels...is that sad or what?
I am falling apart, into this big mess. I cant see clearly right now. No, I mean that literally. I woke up this morning and my right eye is a blur. I know Optic Neuritis is a symptom of MS. And my hands are feeling more numb than they usually are. I think I am relapsing. Which sets a pattern, I think. I first went numb in my left leg last August. Then I relapsed and everything went numb in February and now here I am feeling it again in August. I think there is a 6 month pattern here.
When I talked to the doctor the other day, he told me I need to remove as many stressors out of my life as possible. That is all I have in my life right now. Everything is stressing me out. I am getting upset at the smallest of things. I cant stop thinking. Thinking about everything. I know where I want to be in life and right now I am so far away from that spot. I feel like its a bad dream that I am going to wake up from any minute now. I cant stop crying all the damn time. I have been overanalyzing things alot more than I normally do, if that is possible. What the hell is wrong with me????