Ok, so things dont always work out the way that I want them to, that is life.
Last night, "MsMoHoney" gave me a tarot card reading. It was bad, nothing was coming out the way I wanted it to. But it got me to thinking about it all. Not only did it get me thinking, but it pretty much made up my mind for me. And no, I didnt rely my decision soley on the cards, that would just be plain stupid. Its just hard to sit and listen to things you dont want to hear or accept to be true. But I realized that there comes a time when we all must let go of things, whether we want to or not...because holding on to them sometimes hurts more. Its kinda like the saying goes...if you love something, set it free, if it comes back its yours, if not it was never meant to be. Time to let go of "MrCuriousGeorge". I will always have the memories and that is good enough for me. Dont be sad that it ended, be happy that it happened. I am sure the future holds brighter, more promising things for me than "perhaps". I cant live off of perhaps' or maybe's forever.
So here is my plan...I am going to stay in California. For now anyway. I may not stay here forever, but for now I am. I am going to go back to school and finish up the few credits that I need. I am going to focus on my health right now, mentally and physically. I am going to start my treatments and see where that takes me. If I start feeling like I am getting worse, I may leave then. I am going to get things financially straightened out. I dont know how yet, but I am working on it. Rome wasnt built in a day and neither will my life. It will take some time before all the pieces start to fall into place. But I have faith that they will. Forget about "Hope", faith is stronger!!!