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Little old lady from Pasadena...
Written at 4:15 p.m. on Sunday, Oct. 20, 2002

Mental note to self: Do not attempt to go to go Trader Joe's until its later in the evening and all of the old people are home and have gone to sleep. 6 pm should be good.

I got up today lacking motivation to do anything. I knew there were a few things on my list that I absolutely had to do. One of them was to go shopping at Trader Joe's. I think I was the only one under 50 years old in the entire store. It was packed. Little old ladies everywhere.

Now dont get me wrong, I am not an agist because I know someday I will be old too. But this was unreal. This is going to sound really mean, but I think what they should do it build a gate around Leizure World and put everything those old people need inside the gate. Therefore, they never have to come out...except on holidays.

One little old lady hit me with her shopping cart. I mean she literally ran into me with it. And she didnt even say a word about it. And she knew what she had done. She looked me right in the eye and turned around and walked away. Now if I had done that, I would have had 10 bag boys beating the shit out of me. But no, little old ladies get away with everything.

And they spend forever at the checkout counter counting their change so they can pay it to the penny. Here's a dollar...keep the change! All I wanted to do was get out of there and continue on to the next thing on my "to do" list. I spent, no lie, 35 minutes in the checkout line. That is insane.

So I made it a point to buy some Chardonnay while I was there. Thank you Mr. Coppola for your movies...and your good wine. Because you are going to be getting me drunk tonight. I really shouldnt be drinking but it is gonna make it better for the moment. And I am all about instant gratification.

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