Why is it they say "when life gives you lemons, you just have to make lemondade"? What if I dont want lemonade? Unless, can I somehow make a Smirnoff Ice out of it?
Today has been agonizingly slow. Rather, I should say that it has been busy, but this day is dragging ass. During my lunch, I went to my favorite restaurant to pick up lunch for a few of us. I really love this place. I am a sucker for Indian food. So, as always I am greeted by my friend that is a waiter there. We arent as close as we once were. And I got to thinking about that today. Mostly about how horrible of a person I am.
I was remembering a night that he and I went out on a date. We went to dinner, grabbed a movie, then somehow ended up at "Cheers". Why do so many of my horror stories start out with "that night I went to Cheers"?
So that night we ended up there at the end of our date. I remember that "MsBoobsalot" was there with a bunch of her friends from work. "MrCuriousGeorge" being one of them. We all just kind of sat around talking, drinking, whatever.
The shitty part, on my part, was that a few hours later I couldnt take my date home fast enough so that I could leave with "MrCuriousGeorge". What kind of woman rushes her date home to go home with someone else? And what kind of guy sits in the parking lot after close to wait for a girl to rush her date home to come back and go home him? That would be me. Me that would be him. Yep, that would be us.
So now every time I go into that restaurant, I am reminded of exactly how much of a mean person I am. Granted, this was well over a year ago and he has probably already forgotten, but I havent.
When I see him, I wonder if I should have persued things a little farther with him instead of cutting it of so abruptly when "MrCuriousGeorge" walked into my life. I have noticed that too many of my entries have something in them about me wondering where choosing a different path would have taken me. I know I cant worry about these things, because there's not much I can do about it now. But I still wonder anyway.
Its kind of like those books...the ones where you get to the end of the page and it comes to a crossroad. If you want to do this, turn to page 74 and if you want to do this, turn to page 112. The sad thing is that I always cheated with those books. I always went and checked out both ways. But life isnt like a book, when you come to a crossroad you cant go both ways. But I cant stop thinking about what would have happened if I had picked left instead of right sometimes.
Its not like I obsessively ponder these things all the time. Only instances like today, where I am face to face with someone who was the left when I went right. Or maybe its like the book. Going right didnt work and I want to back track and go left now and see where that takes me. But this isnt a book, its real life.