Well, the good news is that my diaphragm (the muscular membrane in my chest, not the form of contraception)has stopped wigging out on me. But now that my hiccups have subsided, my eye is now tweeking out on me and has decided to start twitching. UGH! I cant seem to win.
I have been trying so hard to think of an excuse that is going to get me out of this birthday thing this weekend. A family friend had called and she brought it up asking if I was going to go. I briefly paused and said "Not if I can come up with something that is going to get me out of it". At first, she laughed and then she started in on laying the foundation for her guilt trip. "Do you know how hurt her feelings are going to be?" "Do you realize its not going to make it better, its only going to make it worse?"
See, that part that this person doesnt see is how rudely she treats people...intentionally and unintentionally. I really, really do not want to go to this family thing on Saturday. And I dont feel like I should have to explain that to anyone.
I feel so seperated from my family. Not all of my family, just these two. Excuse me for not wanting to spend time with the people that have hurt me more than anyone with their tongues of blades. I cant count how many times they have made me cry. So, tell me, why would I want to spend my Saturday night with them? I spend the other 5 days a week with them. Is that not sufficient?
See what happens is that I am made to look like the bad guy (gal) here because these people who say this only see them every so often. That's when the curtain of facade comes down and covers everyone. They are made to see these two wonderful people. If they could only see the real man behind the curtain.
The last thing I need is some outsider who sees nothing telling me why I should go and saying how terrible (on my part) it would be for me not to go. Umm, I dont think so.
So how the hell am I going to get out of this...I need an excuse. FAST!