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And now I'm free...I'm free falling
Written at 10:45 p.m. on Thursday, Dec. 05, 2002

Free at last, free at last...thank God almighty, I am free at last.

Well, the inevitable happened. "MrLightening" has pounded his thunder here for the last time.

I went and picked him up after work, just like I said that I was going to. We came home and were talking about things. I was even considering trying to works things out too. He asked me to give him a screen name on my AOL account, and I did.

But while I was signed on, "MrCuriousGeorge" popped up. He just wanted to say hello. Little did I know, it was going to be the beginning of a big argument. This one was the one that finished it off for us. He started freaking out that I was talking to another guy. I tried to explain that "MrCuriousGeorge" has been my friend for a long time and that he is 3,000 miles away. But he didnt want to hear it.

He started yelling at me and saying he wanted to go home. So I told him to find his own ride home. I wasnt doing one more favor for him. When he called me psycho, that just did it to me. I wasnt about to go one more step for him.

Then out of no where, he decided he wasnt going to go anywhere...he didnt want to leave. I told him that he had to go, but he wasnt hearing it. He walked over to me and grabbed a lit cigarette out of my hand and threw it into my sink. He then got up in my face and said "What are you going to do about any of this" and then walked over and shut my bedroom door. I started to walk over to the phone, but he said if I called the cops he would start breaking things.

I was so relieved 2 mins later when I heard "MsMoHoney" come in the front door. I didnt feel as scared anymore that he was going to do something. She just kinda sat there making sure everything was okay.

He was taking his good old time folding his clothes properly and putting theme into boxes. I just wanted him out. He finally got it all together and started setting them on the front porch.

Then when he got it all together and was going to head down to meet his sister, I walked to the door. He turned around at me with a look I will never forget and just stood there staring at me for a few minutes. He started crying and then said "I thought you were going to be my wife". I just basically told him that I am sorry that it came to this. I wanted to part as friends, but it appears to not be in the cards for us. We did our best...we just took off too fast and fell even faster.

I wished him good luck in his future and he took me by the hand and told me the same. I hope this means that there isnt any vindictiveness there. I dont want him coming back and doing something stupid.

So I watched him walk down the steps and out of my life. It hurt a little bit, but I know that its for the best. It will be so much better now. I can breathe again.