Loving you, isnt the right thing to do
Written at 10:37 a.m. on Tuesday, Mar. 25, 2003
I sometimes wonder why I even go home. I mean really.
Although last night I didnt go home to a dark hole like I normally do. Nope, I went home to him being wide awake and oh so excited to show me his new tattoo. (gagging)
Its not the tattoo I mind. And I dont really mind any of it. I guess its just me trying to be the control freak that I am. You would think that I would be estatic being as this new tattoo covers up his ex-girlfriend's name.
He came in this morning still talking about this damn tattoo. It isnt finished yet, it still needs to be filled in. I wasnt really paying him much attention, so he looks at me and says You dont like it do you? I have just come to the decision that if I am not getting the attention that I need, guess what, neither is he.
I have started pulling away from him. And it never fails, the minute you start to pull away is the minute that they start to come closer. But that isnt really my intention here. I just want to be happy and I know that I'm not. As a friend, he is awesome...as a boyfriend, he kinda sucks.
But that's okay because little by little by I am reclaiming my life back. I am no longer going to look at things as "us" or "we" but rather as "me", "me" and Oh "me". He has no idea what he's losing here. And by the time he does, it will be too late.
Enough about him. I have already wasted too many characters on that. This morning I took my car back into the dealership. Its making a weird noise when my car comes to a complete stop. I dont know. They look at me like I am some obsessive-compulsive, neurotic, freak. What kind of noise is it Ms Psyched1? Hmmm, a vibrating noise. What kind of vibrating noise would that be? If they stopped talking to me like a five year old and just turned the car on, they would probably answer their own damn question.
So I left my car with them and caught their shuttle to the coffee shop near my aunt's house where she came and got me. Now I just have to worry about how I am going to get back down to the dealership at 5:30. Because Mister Wonderful isnt answering his cell phone. I can only imagine why...My horoscope~ A discussion could take place in your home between you, some friends, and other members of your household, Tracey. A love partner may also be present. The conversation concerns controversial issues that the participants feel very strong about, so expect to hear some intense debates between people who hold opposing views. Your guests will, however, take more of an intellectual than argumentative stance, so you can relax and learn from what everyone's saying. Have fun!