You've gotta make a decision, leave tonight or live and die this way
Written at 2:54 p.m. on Monday, Mar. 31, 2003
I just got off the phone with "MsMoHoney" who informed me that her friend is very interested in renting her room once she leaves.
You would think that I would be jumping for joy here. In a small way I am, but I am still really scared. Scared that a part of me is going to break into pieces when he chooses living somewhere else over me.
I am going to break it down to him tonight. I am going to insist that he choose...roommate or boyfriend. If he picks roommate I am going to have to let him go. I dont want to live with him if we arent together and if we are together we shouldnt have seperate rooms.
There is also a benefit to having a third roommate. Less rent to pay. He and I would be splitting half instead of each paying half. We would each save almost $300 a month.
But I really dont think he is going to go for it. He has his mind pretty much made up as to what he wants to do. The only problem is that it doesnt coinside with what I want to do. I want to share a house, he wants to rent a room. That makes me feel so...not together. Like roommates with benefits. Which would be really awkward for me.
I just dont know how I am going to bring this up to him. I am starting to freak out here. He's gonna flip out on me. But I have to do it. Either way, I will get the answers I have been looking for.