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Our house, is a very, very, very fine house
Written at 8:48 a.m. on Thursday, Apr. 10, 2003

I may sound like I'm always complaining, but overall, my life is good.

It may have taken me some time, but I am starting to get things together. Yesterday, I made another big payment on one of my credit cards. After much hassle with the lady. But I am determined to get them down.

I spent a well needed night with "MsMoHoney". We just sat in my room and talked and laughed. More laughing than anything. I am really going to miss not having her here. I will miss those late night talks we have. They only further prove that I'm insane. But she will only be on the other side of my apartment building, so she wont be far.

Then this morning, "MrBigDaddy" came home earlier than usual. It gave us a chance to sit and talk for a while. Yesterday, he picked up his oldest daughter and dropped her off at home. I was glad that he did that. They really need to spend more time together. He was telling me how he told her that she can start coming over and staying a few days with us here and there.

I think with his two littlest ones not being here, he needs this relationship with his oldest daughter. He's already missed out on alot of years with her. And I could see the difference in his attitude and mood this morning when he was talking about it. He didnt seem so sad.

I decided a while ago that no matter what he said about not letting anyone close to him, I was going to knock the walls down anyway. Every day I get him to trust me a little more. Every day we get a little closer. And that makes me trust him more.

I think everything is going to be okay. We pretty much have the living situation thing worked out. He doesnt intend to ever sleep in there. Which I have to admit, was something that was bothering me. I think he's just needing some territory of his own. Its a guy thing. We, women, dont mind sharing our space. Men are a little more territorial. That's fine. We were even talking this morning about maybe putting a pool table in there. That would be nice.

All the pieces are slowly starting to fall together. Its about damn time.