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Its so hard to move on...still loving what's gone
Written at 12:58 p.m. on Tuesday, Apr. 15, 2003

The strangest thing just happened to me.

I was on my lunch and ran to the post office to drop off my tax stuff. On the way to the post office, I drove past the coffee shop "MrBigDaddy" and I would meet at before he moved in with me and was living in that area.

As I drove by I started remembering the times I met him there. Then I thought to myself I really miss him. But it wasnt in a "I never see him, I miss him" kind of way. It was more like a "He was so great, I wonder what happened to him" kind of way.

And even with that, I wasnt wondering why it has changed. It was almost as if I was looking at him the way he was then and the person I am with now and seeing two different people. In my mind, they are two entirely seperate people.

Unfortunately, I cant retrace my steps and find the person from the coffee shop as if he was just misplaced. Or just someone I havent talked to in a while and lost touch with. They arent two seperate people. Just two different places in time.

And I cant help but feel like someone I know just died. Because that person, in a way, has died. I didnt realize until now how much I miss him. The person who called me as soon as I got off work to see if I wanted to meet for drinks or play pool. The same person who would send me text messages on my way in to work in the mornings just to say hello.

I really want that person back. I keep hoping, just maybe, that one day I'll see him again.