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And I'm sleeping on the couch when I came to visit you
Written at 10:18 p.m. on Sunday, Apr. 20, 2003

Oh my GAWD! I cant even begin to explain how lost I was not having internet connection for the last two days.

Friday, I had someone come and install the cable and my internet service. Well, I shouldve known...when I get home neither would be working right.

First, they hooked up regular cable when it should have been digital cable. Then, my cable modem wouldnt install properly. But yeah, now I can zip right on through the internet.

Yesterday was the first fun day I have had in a long time. It started out shitty, but got better by the end of the night. Or should I say the morning when I finally got home.

Let me start back at yesterday morning. To sum it up...he fucked up big time. I havent fully come up with a plan yet, but I know what needs to be done. He was so incredibly lucky to survive the day. If I could have killed anyone yesterday and fully get away with would have been him. And even that is an understatement.

He brought that shit into my house. Yeah, he sure did. I couldnt believe it. That's so wrong for so many different reasons. But mostly because that shows me that he has absolutely no respect for me. He knew that I would be upset if he brought it here. And he did it anyway with no regard as to how I would feel about it.

For some unseen reason he likes upsetting me. Or at least, he likes to try to upset me. Like today in the car, he started pushing all kinds of buttons on the stereo. And he did it like a four year old would, just pushing buttons not knowing what it would do. Usually, I just shrug it off and go about my business. But not this time. I just cant turn my cheek to this.

I immediately made plans to go out for the night. I was supposed to go to a BBQ at "MsTornado"'s house, but I didnt really make it. Instead I went out with "MrZingers"...and it was a blast. It was exactly what I needed.

I met him at his house and we stayed there for a little while. I met one of his friends and the three of us ended up going to "Cheers". To be honest, it was alot of fun. I know I bag on that place alot, but the people that place has put into my life are well worth the hard times I've had there.

That's why I get so upset when he starts in on how bad that place is for me to go. That place has introduced me to some wonderful people that have really pulled me through some hard times. It was them who were there for me when I was at my lowest. It was them that gave me a shoulder to cry on and an ear to talk to when I needed it. Not him.

After "Cheers" the three of us decided that we should go to Ralph's and get a pie...or cake...or something sweet. We ended up getting a Cheesecake Factory Pumpkin Cheesecake. That was only after I knocked over a stack of cheesecakes in the freezer that send a few of them to the floor where they cracked open and went everywhere. Hey, I never said I was graceful.

So we went back to "MrZinger"'s house to have the cheesecake and watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding. We all fell asleep in the middle of it. I ended up waking up at 4 am scrunched up on the sofa with his friend. Who might I say, is a very nice guy. A real gentleman.

I ended up staying the entire night there. I was going to get up early and head home before he got here so I didnt have to hear the insinuations and accusations. But I get lazy on my days off and cant get up early. I thought that if I left at 7:30 I would surely beat him home. But I thought wrong.

When I pulled up his car was out front. When I got inside, I found him wide awake, showered and sitting on the bed watching tv. So I knew he knew I didnt come home last night. And you know, he didnt say a word about it.

So yeah, today is Easter. Which inevitably means that I had to do something with the family unit. Every holiday we meet at some restaurant. Today was this little bistro/cafe up in Newport Beach. It was really cute. I left a good 45 mins early to get there on time and ended up waiting for them for 30 mins.

It wasnt too bad though. As always, my uncle does something to embarrass us to great extents. While my aunt just laughs at him, when really she wants to slug him. I just pretend I have no idea who these people are and try not to stand so close to them. Ah, the holidays. What greater pleasure could there be.

It was good to come home. And thankfully, they were nice enough to tell all of the employees to come in at 10 tomorrow instead of 8:30. Happy Easter to me...I get to sleep in tomorrow.

I am so exhausted from lack of sleep last night and then doing the family thing this afternoon. I should really go to bed now, but I want to wander around the internet because I can. I finally got this stupid thing working. I finally had to erase my entire hard drive and reinstall everything.

It only cost me that little sliver of sanity that I had left...but at least I have my email now.