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She spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace, smeared the lipstick on her face...slammed the door and said I'm sorry I had a bad day again
Written at 10:16 a.m. on Monday, Apr. 28, 2003

Something tells me that if I dont go home soon, I just might regret it.

Over the weekend, I had left my medication at work on my desk. I finally got a hold of someone yesterday so I could arrange to go pick it up.

The only bad thing about that is I wasnt able to take it over the weekend. I took it friday afternoon and didnt take another one until last night. Two whole days without it when I am supposed to be taking it every twelve hours. That's four missed doses.

And to be honest, I can feel it. I'm becoming easily irritated today. That is, more easily irritated than usual. I left the house this morning almost 45 mins earlier than I normally do because of my high level of irritation.

Every little breath that slips past his lips just gets under my skin and itches with such intensity.

First, he called me co-dependent. I dont think he even know what co-dependent means. He thinks just because he read the first five pages of my Co-dependent No More book he is Mr. Psychologist and should be giving me sessions. Not happening.

He had asked me what time I got home last night. I told him I didnt know, whenever the bar closed. Then he said something about You dont see me going out with girls while you are at work, do you? I told him that I'm quite sure he doesnt. He said he doesnt have time to go anywhere. *cough*bullshit*cough

Then as I tried to storm out of the house with all of my grace intact, I took a not-so-graceful nosedive into my carpet. Well, actually it was more like a stop, drop and roll kinda thing. And he just thought it was funny. Yeah, umm, not really funny to me. It was a combination of a blanket in my path, my legs going numb on me again and just my plain utter clumsiness.

Then I drove to work and got here 30 mins early because I left 45 mins earlier. I decided to stop and get a coffee on my way. When I went to get out of the car to go into work, I spilled a quarter of the cup on myself. So I looked like a retard with a serious incontinence problem.

I snapped at a co-worker who was rushing me into the door. She doesnt realize that she wouldnt have to rush me if she managed to get her ass here on time. But no, she is consistantly late every day.

Then I realized somewhere in the middle of a horrible funny story (that just wasnt that funny to me) that if I dont leave I may end up telling this person that their story isnt funny, that I dont want to hear it and their stories nine times out of ten arent funny at all.

So I'm thinking that losing a day's pay is alot better than losing my job because I became an irate bitch and yelled at everyone. I'm biting my tongue for now, but I can only contain myself for so long. I feel like a raging lump of hormonal ferociousness.

I need to get out of here. Not just for my own sanity, but for everyone else around me. And WTF is going on with my Diary?

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