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Written at 2:02 p.m. on Monday, May. 12, 2003

I am so tapped mentally, physically, financially.

I hate this! My brain is a big pile of goo today.

Work has been a big pain in the ass today. Everyone's walking around with the Monday attitudes snapping at everyone else.

I spent my lunch at the grocery store shopping. I bought some stuff to make a nice dinner tonight. Before I left for work, he assured me that would sleep from 10-6 and that he would be sleeping those hours every day from now on for me. We'll see.

Financially...I am beyond drained. I am starting to become worse off than I was before. All of my credit card companies are calling me wanting their money. I cant say I blame them, but what they fail to understand is I have about 8 different credit cards. And everyone is wanting about $200-$250 a month for payment.

Now, again, I am no math genius but I am pretty sure I cant pull that one off. That's $1600 a month for credit cards, not to mention rent...and oh, a car payment...and insurance.

I really dont have my head above water right now. Part of me wishes I had declared bankruptcy when I had the chance. But I thought I would give it a healthy attempt at paying them off.

I would sell my first-born but for one, I dont have one and two, I dont forsee one anytime in the near future. I would sell my soul, but I think I sold that a long time ago...and with inflation, its practically worthless now anyway.

I dont want to take another job on the weekends and evening. Not because of the time, but because of taxes. I worked a second job a few years ago and Uncle Sam kicked my ass for it too. What I had to pay in taxes wasnt worth the extra money...which was pennies as it was.

So, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. But I have to think of something fast.