Latest Archives Profile Notes Guestbook Design D-Land

A whole new world, a new fantastic point of view...No one to tell us no or where to go or say we're only dreaming
Written at 12:46 p.m. on Wednesday, May. 14, 2003

I sat down during my lunch and went over my finances. I'm not as destitute as I thought I was.

Its not too bad actually. I'm sure I'll manage to scrape on by. I just have to start being a little more frugal than I have been. There are alot of things I could cut back on.

I've decided to take a full day off work (if needed) and go to the career counseling center at my college. Someone had mentioned for me to do that a couple of months ago, but I procrastinate at everything I do so it never happened.

So yeah, I'm going to go down there and see what options I have. I know I'm not happy with my job. I havent been happy for the last 8 years. Every day it gets a little harder to get up and come here. I love the people that I work with. They have all been working here 6+ years, so they've started to feel like family.

And they are content with living out the rest of their lives working here. In another nine years, I'm sure most of them will still be here. If that's what they want to do, that's fine. But that's not what I want to do.

I just know I've hit a wall in this company. I cant go any higher than I am already. And there wasnt much room from the beginning. Small companies suck like that.

I have always had a goal that I wanted to work towards. Its just gotten a little back-burnered over the years. I kept telling myself You have time, you're only 21...You have time, you're only 23. Then one day I woke up and years had gone by and I was 27.

So its time to take those goals off the back burner and start cooking with fire again. Its going to be a long road to haul. And I'm not completely sure where I'm going to end up at. But that's the beauty of it...the element of surprise. Anything can happen, right?

And its not about proving anything to anyone else. Like my family. I have something I need to prove to myself. I've been talking about it for so long that I feel like I have to do it, just because I owe it to myself.

I look at "MrCuriousGeorge" who made the journey from west coast to east coast to go back to school and get his MBA. That took alot of courage to go somewhere totally foreign and start all over again. I've done it once, I'm sure I can do it again.

I've gotta stop punking out on the things that I say I'm going to do...and just do them.