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Written at 1:25 p.m. on Monday, May. 19, 2003

I've never been the type of person to easily accept compliments.

For some reason, they have always made me feel awkward and uncomfortable. I dont know why. And sometimes I feel bad because I dont respond the way I should about them, making the person that gave the compliment feel bad. Like if someone were to compliment me on my shirt, I'd say This old thing? I've had this forever. Its lost its color and is stretched out now whereas the correct (not to mention polite) response would be...Thank you! Seems easy.

Or when people that I havent seen in a long time say You look like you've lost weight, my initial response is always Nah, if anything I've gained a few pounds. Instead of being proud that I've busted my ass and lost close to 60 lbs in two years, I dismiss it quickly.

Today I went to the bank during my lunch. The people there are always so nice to me. A couple of months ago, the woman working the drive-thru window gave me a compliment on my nose ring. Something about it looking nice and how I always look so nice. It turned me beet red out of embarrassment.

Well today, another woman complimented me on my hair...You've colored your hair, it looks nice. And again, I just sat there feeling awkward and said Yeah, it didnt really turn out the color that I wanted it to, but this will do for now. When, yet again, the correct answer was still...THANK YOU!

I feel so ungrateful when I do that. Because there was a grateful response and I blew it again. Instead, I just think of the fastest way to get out of there without looking like a bigger ass than I already do. And believe me, I do a good enough job of looking like that on my own in a normal situation already.

And its not because I am ungrateful at all. I really do appreciate the compliment immensely. I just have never been good at responding to them.

Today's words to practice: