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You say it's your birthday...
Written at 9:29 a.m. on Tuesday, May. 27, 2003

This weekend was amazing. Better than I ever thought that it would be.

Yesterday, I did absolutely nothing. We just kinda hung around the house talking, listening to music, watching tv...just having fun.

Yesterday morning started with a call from "MsAngelic" about our yoga class. It was starting in ten minutes, so we both bailed out on it. About five minutes later, he called to let me know that he was just getting off work because they worked late and to see what I wanted for breakfast.

See, its that kind of stuff that makes it hard for me. He would never go out and get himself something and not bring something back for me. He's always doing stuff like that.

Today is his birthday...and I still dont know what to get him. I even asked him last night what he wanted. He said that what he wanted, he already got. So I'm at a loss.

I felt so badly for him last night. I walked in the room and he was checking the voicemails on his cell phone. I could tell it wasnt good. He handed me the phone to listen. It was his ex...the one that took off with his kids. The message was very generic...The girls are fine. I'm sorry, I just did what I had to do. I just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday.

It took a while for him to calm down from that. And every point he made, he was right about. She didnt have to call and leave a message for him...she should've put his kids on the phone and let them say happy birthday to him.

After all that, we sat and talked...for a long time. I've been walking around with the understand that we are on a break. Afterall, that's the suggestion he made last week. So I've just been following it for the past week. I dont think he has.

One of the things he brought up last night was the ex. The first one. I know its hard to differentiate between the two. But what he said was that I didnt ever have to worry about either on of the ex's ever coming back into his life romantically. That made me feel alot better.

I've realized that alot of my problems with him are nothing but insecurities on my part. Whether they are justified or not, they dont have to be there. They will all still linger in the back of my mind, but they dont have to be front-runners.

I have no idea what's going to happen between us. I do know that I care about him alot...probably more than I should. And that I probably will get hurt...more than I have been already. Let's just say that I'm the kind of girl who likes to stick around and see what comes next.

Now, I must go and find a fabulous gift that looks like I put alot of thought into and didnt try to pull it together at the last minute.