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I drove all night...to get to you
Written at 9:32 a.m. on Friday, Jun. 13, 2003

Yesterday I received the phone call I had been waiting so long to get. It was "MrGIjoe". He's home and I feel like I have another missing piece back.

I've missed him so much. It had been about a year since I'd seen him. His deployment is over and he's getting out of the marines a week from today. We already have so many things planned...party tonight at "Cheers" and Vegas on the fourth of July weekend. Its going to be so much fun.

I went and picked him up last night at Camp Pendleton. I was in my pajamas getting my weekly shot when he called. There was nothing that was going to keep me from going there and seeing him. So I threw on some jeans and went.

We ended up going over to see "MsAngelic" and "MsTornado" to surprise them. We sat around talking and catching up...ie. listening to all of his stories from all of the places that he's been to over the last year. We didnt stay as long as I had wanted, but it was getting late and I was getting tired. And I still had to drive him back down to base. It was 1:30am when I finally made it back home last night.

Its really good for me to have him home. Before he left, we were spending every weekend together and going out and having fun. He has this way about not letting me worry about things. He's an amazing person.

So I'm figuring now that he's home, I will start getting out and doing things more often. The thing is...all of our friends have a significant other, except the two of us. So its generally been just the two of us out doing things.

Today after work, I have a doctor's appointment. Then I'm going to try to sneak in an hour at the gym. Then its party time at "Cheers" to celebrate.

I do know that I'm ready to get out there and start having fun. I came across another card last night Can me and you...(open card)be me and you, again? It just made me want to throw up. But now I realize that the door is closed for good now. There's absolutely no way in hell I'd ever try to work things out with him...not now. I have a hard enough time dancing with my own ghosts, I dont have the energy for his too.

I'm still going to stand by what I said before about being single for a while. I'd rather be alone than to be with someone that wants to be with someone else. Kinda like If you cant be with the one you love, love the one you're with. Well, I'm better than that. I'm not going to be the runner-up. I'm worth more than that.

Now he'll see what it feels like to be left behind...

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