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Everything is wonderful now...
Written at 6:02 p.m. on Saturday, Jun. 14, 2003

Its so true...exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make people happy. Today...I was happy.

This has been the first happy day that I've had in a long time. I went to the gym for a nice workout this morning. I burned a cd to take with me. It was all older techno/club music that I remember hearing in the clubs when I was in high school. Boy, it really brought back some memories.

One song reminded me of my best friend in high school, Josh. Every girl had a Josh. He was the close guy friend that dated all the cute girls while you secretly (or maybe not) had a crush on him.

I thought about the night I met Josh. I was on a very, very, very...VERY bad double blind date. The four of us went to eat and my date spilled my drink. If he would've just spilled it, that would have been fine. But, no...he replaced my drink...and spilled it again.

Josh was the first and only guy that I've ever asked for his number. And a beautiful friendship came out of it. He was awesome. So many nights when I had been fighting with my mother and stepfather, he would come over and pick me up and let me sleep at his house. He had the entire basement of his parents' house to himself, so we used to always sneak in out of his house. I remember one night driving to his house in the middle of the night with a friend and sleeping in the car in his driveway.

I've long since lost touch with Josh. No one seems to know where he is. One day I'd like to find him. And thank him for being my life support system during the really bad times. If it werent for him...

Then this afternoon, we watched some special on tv about the 80's. That was my time. I'll always look back on the 80's with a smile. Life was so easy then.

The show talked about all the different things that happened in the 80's. They showed clips from Stand By Me. It reminded me of the first time I saw it. We had sat down as a family to watch it and someone (I'm sure it was Corey Feldman) said something that didnt sit right with my father. So needless to say, we didnt watch it. But I do remember my mother waking me up at 6 am to tell me that it was on again and that I could go downstairs and watch it if I was quiet and didnt wake my father.

My childhood was good. Up until I was 13, my biggest worry was which Barbie doll to play with. I want to remember every minute of those good times.

The one thing I regret not having is my childhood diary. I had started writing in it when I was 8 or 9 and finished it my senior year in high school. It would be neat to read back over all of those years and see what I wrote about. I keep asking my mother to dig through boxes, find it and mail it to me. Still waiting...

So today...not such a bad day. Maybe tomorrow I'll get up and do it all over again. It'd be nice to finally have a nice, relaxing weekend.