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Whenever I get this way I just dont know what to say, why cant we be ourselves like we were yesterday
Written at 8:57 a.m. on Monday, Jul. 14, 2003

While in and out of consciousness last night, I saw a commercial for a new tv show on Fox. Its about life in Orange County. I was hoping it was Orange County, Florida and not here but sadly enough...its Orange County, California.

I say that because I live here...and its not all that exciting. I guess if you take enough sex and scandal you can make a one hour show out of this place. And I'm sure there will be some truth to the show...spoiled little rich kids with way too much time and money on their hands. Its funny, really. Sixteen year old kids driving around in cars that I can only dream of owning someday. And everyone is so snobby here.

I smell Aaron Spelling behind this.

Anyhoo, I had a really good weekend. It was nice and relaxing...and quiet. Just what I needed. I didnt really go anywhere over the weekend. I did meet up with "Ms2inchman" saturday to grab lunch and go to the nail salon. I thought it was going to be a quick in and out kinda thing, but three hours later when I'm still sitting in the salon chair...I realized it was going to be an all day thing.

Afterwards, I went over to "MsMoHoney"'s where she was having a BBQ. Hers went over alot better than mine did last week. I ended up not staying because I started getting a really bad headache. I just wanted to go home and go to sleep.

I'm ready for it to be friday again already. I have so much that needs to get done this week. I'm just now starting to get organized again and I really truly dont even know where to start at. I've been neglecting things for so long that I dont know what I need to do to catch up. I dont remember signing up for this adult thing. Being a kid was so much easier.

The other day, the three of us ("MrBigDaddy", "MrGIjoe" and myself) were sitting around talking. We got into showing our high school pictures. I made the mistake of showing my baby album that has all of my school pictures in it. It was the 80's...what can I say? Glad I was able to bring them some humor. There's a certain balance that happens when the three of us are together.

Things are going okay...for the time being any way. As always, things could change any minute. I'm still trying to figure out where I want to be. If I want to stay in California or not. I've been here almost 9 years and part of me has made this place home. Yet, there's a big part of me that will always consider Baltimore my home. That's where my roots are...that's my foundation. Then there's that part of me that yearns for something new and unfamiliar. That part of me that wants to try out Washington for size. To just go somewhere and start completely over with a clean slate.

I have time to think about this. There's no rush at all. Its just my mind wanting to find resolution to it. And I think on overdrive already as it is. Always over analyzing things and taking them apart until there's nothing but hundreds of small pieces to closely look at. Its putting them back together that's the hardest. Sometimes they dont always fit back together the way that they should.

Life's funny like that.

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I'm feeling: ready for the weekend

Listening to: Bizarre Love Triangle-New Order

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