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Oh my life, is changing every every possible way
Written at 1:57 p.m. on Saturday, Sept. 06, 2003

Wow, it hasnt felt like its been 5 days since I last updated. But, I guess it has been.

So much has been going on. First, I LOVE MY NEW JOB! They really are the most awesome of people there. I guess they are the same as any other people you'd work with. Its just that after 9 years of working with the employers I have been, the people I work with now seem heaven-sent. Things there are going great. In the next few weeks, I'll be assigned my own magazines and I'm looking forward to that.

Also, my new roommate moves in tomorrow. He's already started to move little things in. So I'm looking forward to things getting a move on there and my life getting back to the way that I once remembered it to be. Slowly...but surely. Its nice, because I've been alot less stressed out and miserable lately. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to smile and just relax.

Things with "MrBigDaddy" are about the same. We were renting Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers the other day and he reminds me so much of that little creature. Some days I get Gollum...and some days I get Smeagol. Its all a flip of the coin, I suppose.

Yesterday, he was telling me We should'nt have got rid of that old apartment. I can only assume he meant MY old apartment because there was no WE when I lived there. And the other day, he said I want to move to these apartments...they are close to your work. To which I asked why in the world he would want to move to an apartment because it is close to MY work. I meant US. Gee, I didnt know there was an US either.

I've just started not holding on to his words. I forget that they've been spoken once they've slipped past his lips. Only because I know with a little time, he'll forget that they were spoken too. And I'm tired of holding onto his words...with hope. Hope is gone there.

My plan is to make through these next 6 months and get out of here. In my mind and heart, I've already let go of the images I'd conjured of the way that I wanted my life to be out here. Staying here is only starting to hurt. I want to be back with my family. I've already missed way too much time. Its about trying to make it up now.

I'd always been looking for a reason to stay here. And now after hitting all four corners, I can clearly see that there are no reasons. If I stay here, I'll only drown. I would leave today if I could. But I'll plan well and take my time to do it right.

I really cant think of anything exciting that's happened over the last week. I've got my birthday coming up friday and I'm anxious to see if he has ANYTHING planned. Something would be nice. But...I'm not holding my breath.

I still need to get my computer fixed and that cant happen fast enough. For now, this will do. A little inconvenience never hurt anyone.