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Its my party and I'll cry if I want to
Written at 2:49 p.m. on Saturday, Sept. 13, 2003

Happy day-after-my-birthday to me!

Well, my birthday wasnt so bad. I have had better, but I've also had alot worse. After work, we went and rented some movies and then went to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner.

We had got all the way back home and we remembered that we forgot popcorn, milk and eggs (for the supposed cake that he was going to bake me...not holding my breath on that one). I offered for us to go back but he instead wanted to take MY car and go while I heated up dinner. He actually got upset that I wouldnt let him take my car. HE DOESNT HAVE A LICENSE! After he threw his temper tantrum about it, I continued on with my night. I cant say that it didnt put me in a sour mood for the rest of the night though.

He said that for my birthday he had wanted to get me a camera phone from Sprint...but they were all out. I hope that's the truth. I cant help but have my doubts in the back of my mind.

I'm having a hard time with the fact that his ex is coming in to town near the end of the month. Like he's just simply buying time with me until she gets here and they can ride off into the sunset together. I'd like to say that I care...when actually I know a split from him would be just like me losing my job...hard to deal with at first and painful to a degree BUT when its all over and done with I'll be thankful and wonder how I ever put up with it in the first place.

Yeah, about my job...STILL LOVING IT! The people there are still being incredibly nice. When I came in yesterday, there was a big banner over my desk that said HAPPY BIRTHDAY and a card.

I think I know which magazines they are going to assign me to and I'm a little excited and anxious about that. It will be a nice healthy challenge for me. And I really like the sales team that comes with these magazines.

I talked to my mother yesterday too. I'm slowly making arrangements to get back home. I asked her if I could ship my cat out to her in a few months so I wouldnt have to make the trek across country with a cat. I really want to get out of California and leave all of this behind.

I need to get home and make a clean, fresh start. I just really dont want to be here any more. With the exception of a handfull of friends, I really dont think I will miss this place at all.

But I still have 6 months left on my lease, so I'm not going anywhere in the immediate near future. But eventually, I'd like to be somewhere else. Somewhere...someone...same difference, right?

Anyway, that's about all I have for this week. I'm still working on getting the computer situation at home worked out. Still coming to the business center. Thankfully, "MsMoHoney" is here keeping me company.