You dont own me, cant control me...I'm not gonna change for nobody
Written at 5:15 p.m. on Friday, Sept. 26, 2003
I managed to find time for a quickie!
Work...still going great! My rep's have been awesome and more than openly welcoming.
And they boyfriend...that lagging component...well, let's just say that I'M SINGLE AS A PRINGLE! And not too terribly upset about it.
We agreed that he should and will be moving out. Its definitely for the best. I can no longer let things consume me.
His ex came back into town yesterday and its been something that's been eating at me since I found out she was coming. I kept wondering how he'll feel seeing her. How they will act towards each other. If one or both of them still want something to be there.
AND I CANT CONTAIN IT ANY MORE! SO good riddens to bad rubbage, huh?
The other day he told me You cant even care enough about me to change your hair color...you know I dont like blondes. First off, my hair is not really blonde so much as its a light red...okay, strawberry blonde. Two, I shouldnt have to (and wont) change myself for anyone. Take me as I am...or get to stepping...move on!
And I cant exactly say that it isnt this cute guy that I work with that's making it all the more easier to leave. Okay, there's two guys.
One of them has been so extremely nice. Emailing me and calling at work. Which is probably all work-related and I choose to let myself beleive that it isnt. But, its making it a little bit easier.
Today, I went and had lunch with the other guy. He, too, is a great person. Very mature for his age and has LOTS of ambition.
I know I'm going to look back at this like I did with my job and wonder how I could have been so unhappy for so damn long. Stupidity I suppose.
All I know is that in one month I'm going to look back with relief instead of tears. And I WILL meet someone new that will be so much better for me and to me. And it will be someone that doesnt make me check his cell phone or look through papers and drawers. But instead, will be someone that I can trust. And who will at least act like a boyfriend.
Eveything else seems to be falling in to place for the meantime. I really cant complain too much. Instead I'm just going to soak up what happiness I can find. Make the best of any bad situations and plunge ahead.
Ahh, well, at least its friday!