Written at 6:42 p.m. on Monday, Oct. 18, 2004
I am about over this. I have given up...entirely.
I should have listed to EVERYONE that said I am so much better than this. Therefore, I officially put my hands in the air and surrender...throw the white flag so to speak. I am tired of trying to mend something so entirely, utterly broken.
I look at everything and everything is so damaged...and so irrepairable. I am trying to recover from something that there is no recovery from...no words, no actions. It will forever be broken.
I've tried. I've tried to put everything past me...but it continues to keep creeping up on me anyway. The ghosts will always be there.
The only comfort I have is knowing that this isnt me. This person I have been isnt the same person you get when you peel away the layers of hurt and disappointment. This just isnt me!