Written at 10:05 a.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 02, 2005
I have a friend, whom I love dearly with all my heart, who is taking (or about to take) a very big step...that he may not be ready for.
He called me with some very big news. It seems his neice, who is only 16 yrs old, is pregnant...and he is wanting to step up and adopt the baby when she has it. I think that is a very admirable thing to, however, he has some very serious problems he needs to work out first.
He used to live here in So Cal, just down the street from me. Last year, he moved out of state to be closer to his family. I still talk to him all the time and it breaks my heart every time we talk. I'm the only person he's truthfully confided to that since he's moved he's been hanging out with the wrong people getting into some serious drugs. He lost his job a while back because of a pop drug test that he failed. Not good...not good at all.
He's thinking that this child will put him in the right direction and force him to get away from the drugs. It may do that...but it may very well not. And that's just not right to bring a child into. And its a big risk to take if it doesnt work out the way that he wants it to. I love him to pieces, but he needs to be a realist here.
I dont know what to say to him about this. He keeps asking my opinion. I am trying to be that friend that stands behind him through everything...but I'm also trying to be that friend that tells him what he needs to hear not what he wants to hear.
Am I being a good friend (or should I say a better friend) if I lie to him or if I let him walk around with blinders on?