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Written at 7:41 p.m. on Tuesday, May. 10, 2005

Wow, my entries sure are getting farther and farther apart.

I feel like its been so long that I should have something to here goes my futile attempt.

This weekend I really didnt do much. I stayed home taking care of little odds and ends around the house. I did manage to talk to my grandmother on mother's day. My mom, on the other hand, was unreachable. My grandmoher told me that my grandfather is going in for tests...they found something in his liver. That's why I hate being so far away. So I promised that I'd go back in September. (Des...still wanna go with me?)

So I had lunch with Matt the other day. It was so brutally painful. We just talked. He makes me feel so bad...about everything. I cant explain in so many words, but he makes me feel like I'm the "bad influence" and the one thats the weight. Its nothing he's said or done...its just the way I feel. I hate hearing about how his apartment is, or how how well he's doing or anything like that. It always brings me back to the same should have pulled your head out of your ass and gotten your shit together long before I hit a wall and had to get out. Its great that he's getting his life together...I just wonder why he couldnt have done it when we were together. I hate the thought of the girl that comes along after me and how he'll probably do the right thing there...but he couldnt for me.

That's okay...Tracey grew metaphoric tsticles and asked someone out. I have a friend that I used to work with and he still has lunch with a friend of mine from time to time. She always comes back just bragging about how nice he is and if she werent engaged, she's date him. So, I called him up Monday, "Hey, hw about you come over for dinner sometime this week?" And he said yes. I was going to go over his house tonight for poker night with some more old coworkers, but I have a headache that is killing me. So yeah, tomorrow we're having dinner. Should be interesting.

So yeah, tonight I am staying home and with the help of ALOT of patience and understanding, I just might not kill my roommate. She goes through these spurts. For a long time, she's just come home and go right to her room. The other day it was about midnight when she emerged full of energy and this desire to do her laundry and clean the dining room, kitchen and living midnight. And then got pissed when I asked if she could vaccuum tomorrow as it was midnight and she sounded like a band of banshees directly utside of my midnight. I once walked in on her vaccuuming the sheets on her 1 am. The women has problems. If she werent allergic to cats, I'd suggest she get one...or a hobby. Just as long as its a quiet one.

So other than those fw little tantrums...I'm doin' aight!