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Written at 11:27 a.m. on Saturday, Oct. 08, 2005

I guess she's mad after all.

On my drive home yesterday, I received three text messages from her. They pretty much said that I wasnt a good friend simply because I told her to call me later instead of hug her...or something like that. Basically it was about how she's been there for me and I wasnt there for her.

I wrote her back saying that while I admit I could have been a better friend, I dont think I've been a bad one simply because I didnt react to a situation the way she wanted me to. I apologized and said that I am not wanting to communicate with her via text messages and she could call me if she wanted.

Then, a couple hours later I was at the grocery store and she sent me three messages again. Basically it repeated what she said earlier about not being there for her. I called her and left her a message. I told her, again, that I was sorry that I hurt her. That I hope she knows that it would never be intentional. So she can either forgive or not and go from here.

Its apparent now that it will be the latter of the two. She woke me up at 7 am this morning with another message saying that she'll see me around or something like that.

I dont know what I was supposed to do. At least not at the time. I felt awkward. Usually, when she's upset she just shuts people out and wants to be left alone until she gets over whatever it is. How was I to know this was different? No, I didnt run up to her and hug her. No, I didnt. Because after her meeting, I went in for mine. When I came out, she went outside on her phone and when she came back she was in a closed office with another co-worker. When she came out, I didnt really have an oppurtunity to talk to her. She grabbed her things and started walking out. She said, "I'll see you when I see you". So I told her to call me later.

This is seriously like high school shit. I am too old for this. I am not going to lay down and beg for forgiveness. I admit that I could've done things differently, but I dont think I maliciously set out to hurt her. She can either forgive me or not. I've apologized three times now. What else can I do?

What I am going to do now is get dressed, go over to my leasing office to add a carport to my lease and go to the gym while I'm there. Then I am going to drive down to the pharmacy to pick up 4 perscriptions (because I am a walking pharmacutical company), finally get these big caterpillars above my eyes groomed and get on with my weekend. I may attempt to go find Trader Joe's. (Thanks Angel-baby! Your directions will definitely help)

Its Saturday and I only have one more day after this. A minute seems like a long time to waste.