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Lay your weary head to rest...dont you cry no more
Written at 1:50 p.m. on Monday, Dec. 05, 2005

The weekend is over...and it was good...despite it all.

Saturday morning I was scared though. I got a phone call and when they asked for me, by name (first and last), I asked who it was and they said they were with the sheriff's department. It took 5 mins for the guy to explain that he was someone calling to get donations for the sheriff's dept.

I did go to an Avon thing Saturday that his best friend's wife was having. It was a prior commitment that I didnt want to go back on. Of course, it was alot of "Do you like the Christmas lights? Matt came earlier today to hang them". That kind of stuff. It kinda got annoying to say the least. Then his friend went on to say how Matt was awsked several times to bring me over there. And how if he would've brought me, I wouldnt need to get on him about being late. It just doesnt matter anyway. I could bitch about how I had never (EVER) been invited to go over there. But it just doesnt matter. None of it matters. And I was stupid for thinking I could go over there without getting all sorts of pissed off. It was a big mistake for me to go over there, committment or not, in the first place. I felt so uncomfortable. It wasnt anything that was anyone's fault except mine. I just shouldnt have been there.

Yesterday I didnt really do anything. I did manage to get down to the pharmacy to pick up a perscription. I also bought enough vitamins and crap to put GNC out of business if I wanted to. I'm going to try this 3-6-9 pills. Its all o the Omega fatty acids and something that should help me a little bit.

I think I'm going to take off either this weekend or next. My aunt (from Seattle)and her husband are going to be in Phoenix and invited me out there. They have a 5 bedroom house so there's more than enough room. And I could really use some time away. A little break from everything. It gives me a chance to just enjoy something without worrying and thinking about things. My mind is becoming a dangerous place to be. I think about things way too much. And I overly-overanalyze things. Everything.

I have so many things to do, yet no motivation to do it. I just want to go home after work and crawl into bed.