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Written at 11:41 a.m. on Friday, Dec. 30, 2005

I have started my New Year's resolution early this year. Ok, I know its only two days early, but still. The effort is still there.

My co-worker friend recommended a book to me that will, hopefully, make a big change for me. Her sister has MS also, so she's very familiar with it. Up until I read the book (which is for more than just MS), I just assumed eating healthy was just counting calories and watching fat content. Not so.

I've been following the book to a T. Every last little detail. Basically, if I didn't make it from scratch and dont know every little ingredient in it, than I'm not eating it. Its extremely easy and difficult all in the same breath. Easy because most of the food I already eat is allowed. Difficult because there are so many things that I cant have. Even something as simple as bread or pasta could be bad for me if the wrong ingredient is in it.

So last night, I went to the grocery store, because what's in my pantry now isn't good enough, and I stocked up on nothing but good stuff. I have been overloading myself with Omega-3's. I have been eating so healthy it hurts. Probably better than I ever have.

So far though, its been working. I have been feeling so much better these past few days. Its crazy how fast I've been feeling better. Its nice to get out of bed in the morning and not have my legs feel shaky and hard to walk on. My fingers...Angel, you of all people know how bad it was. I could do nothing with them. I couldn't feel anything so it made it hard to type. I couldn't feel the keys, so i couldnt hit the right ones. I think I've gotten about 75% of the feeling back. I just had no idea that the food I eat would have such an effect on the way I feel.

My other resolution, that I've been talking about for way too long and doing nothing, is the gym. One hour, three times a excuses. That's the minimum I need to do.

Basically, what it all boils down to is this...2006 is not going to be as fucking depressing for me as this past year has been. And I'm not going to sit at home wallowing in it anymore. Its one thing to bitch and complain about something you have no control of. Its a whole other thing when you do. No one has control over it but me. So its time I step up and take it back. I only get one chance at this. Once my health is gone, its just gone. And I refuse to let that happen.

Those are the only two things I really want to change in my life. Hitting the lottery would be nice, but I'm not going to push my luck. I'll just start here...for now.