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Where is my friend when I need you most?
Written at 11:52 a.m. on Saturday, Jan. 07, 2006

I have to make this quick. I'm waiting for a phone call and then I'm out.

This morning was fabulous. It was just what I needed. Seeing my friend and being pampered. I pulled up at the salon and she wasnt there yet, but she got there about 5 minutes later. She couldnt stop talking about how much weight I've lost and how good I look. It was nice to hear. I met her about 7 years ago when I was attempting Weight Watchers, so she's seen me at my biggest.

The place she took me to was awesome. All of the people there were so nice to me and really made me feel comfortable. Which is something I dont feel very often. The guy that worked there kept bringing me tea and was going out of his way to make me feel comfortable. At first, I thought he was gay. I didnt mean to stereotype. But it seems he's not. He was foreign sexy. He had the most exotic accent and just looked like a guy who should be cruising around in his Porshe...convertible.

I decided to go a little darker with the color. I dont mean to stroke my own ego, but it looks great. They did an awesome job. And it was nice to just sit and talk with my friend. I hadnt realized how much I missed her. She was such an integral part of my life years back.

Months back (Angel, the night you were in town and we met up and went to the good Cheers), I was going through this whole self discovery thing. I had driven by every house I've lived in out here trying to figure out when was I completely happy...and where it fell to shit. That night, I found myself in front of her house. I wasnt even sure she still lived there. I had called and yes, she did.

Seeing her reminded me of how badly I want my life back. Somewhere I lost grasp of it and must've dropped it somewhere along the way. Everything was so much easier then. I had a great guy that I didnt realize how great he was until we broke up and I had dated a few losers. Apparently, I still have the quality of attracting losers. But what is it they say...the sweet isnt sweet without the sour.

But I am determined to get my life back to a place that's livable again. I've been drifting around for way too long now. Something's gotta give. I cant keep going the way I have been. Its slowly sucking the life right out of me.

She invited me back over to her house in an hour to have lunch. It will be nice to just sit and talk to her for hours like it used to be. I really need this.