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Fuck what I said, it dont mean shit now...Fuck the presents mine as well throw 'em out
Written at 1:04 p.m. on Monday, Jan. 09, 2006

Only 4 more hours to go.

I am so tired today and I'm not sure why. I went to bed at around 9:00 last night. So I shouldn't be tired. But I am.

Overall, it was a good weekend. I had a few things hanging over my head that haven't really been addressed yet. Its just something I'm not ready to delve into yet. I'm not wanting to deal with a lot of things right now. I just have this gut instinct that things are about to be shook up for me. The jury is still out on whether it will be positive or negative.

I have a tentative date this Wednesday that I'm not really sure if I want to go on or not. I just don't have it in me right now, but he's such a nice guy and he's so patient with me. I have to give him major credit just for his patience alone. Anyone that can do that (deal with me and be patient about it) on an ongoing basis deserves sainthood. Or a purple heart. Or something.

When I was talking to him earlier, he asked if I ever wanted kids. I said probably not. He asked if I would change my mind if I met the right guy and he knew how to take care of me and treat me right. I don't think guys like that exist.

And I tell you...if it weren't so pretty, I'd take this ring off and chuck it out my window on to the 405. The answer is still no. I don't need a man and I don't want one either.

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