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Written at 3:46 p.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 01, 2006

Okay, the neurotic freak in me has returned. Dang, I thought for sure I was beyond all that.

Last night, I came home to another IM message from "S". It just said "I'd like to see you. Would you be interested one weeknight." I wrote back and said sure. To which he wrote back some time after I went to bed Because I got it this morning, it said "How about you come out Thursday." My answer was just simply, "Thursday is when I get my shot, so it all depends." And that was on my way out the door this morning, so I dont know if he's written back or not.

That brings me to two speedbumps in the road. One being, that he wants to get together Thursday...two being, and he wants me to come out there. Normally, I wouldnt really have a problem with that. But I normally feel like shit after my shot and I dont want to feel like shit over an hour away from home. He lives over an hour away from me. So if I wanted to visit him, on a weeknight, it would involve over two hours of driving alone.

I hate that he lives that far. I even wrote him back and said, "Gawd, I wish you lived closer." He doesnt live that far, but he doesnt live that close either. So its fairly limited to weekends. And I'm not going to be someone's weekend "thing". Not to mention that for the last week (since Sunday), all we've done is write little sentences on IM. I'm not really liking that either. That's way too impersonal to me. I dont want a sentence here and there...I want a freak'n conversation. I dont think that is too much to ask for, but I dont want to start being demanding. No one likes one of those people.

I'm totally swamped at work, so I dont know if I'll be mentally good enough to drive all that way. (Sidenote: Angel, I love you. You know that or at least I hope you do. But for the love of Gawd, what the &*#% were you thinking? Were you drunk? Stoned? Both?) So yeah, work has me pretty tied down right now. Its been a madhouse with all of these new offices opening up and someone's got to get them equipment and all that crap. And that someone is usually me.

It will make it so nice on my lunch today when I go to get my eyebrows waxed and get a massage on top of it. Ahhh, so very nice.