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Written at 1:41 p.m. on Tuesday, Feb. 14, 2006

Its Valentine's Day. Whoopie!

I am going to attempt a very unusual, very complicated stunt today. I am going to attempt to get through this day without my usual sarcasm and cynicism. Not everything is impossible, right. The attempt is half the battle.

First, I'm going to try to backstroke my way through today. I'm really not wanting to deal with the whole "Today is the day that you show your loved ones how much you love them" thing.

Its also been exactly a year ago (8:00 tonight) that my co-worker (and friend) was hit by a car and killed. Its brought mixed feelings and attitudes around the office. One person wants to mourn it all over again and another person wants to buy chocolate and celebrate it. Well, not necessarily celebrate his death, but more his life. I kinda understand that. It just sucks that it had to happen on Valentine's Day. It will always be something that I think about every year on that day.

Ok, enough with that. No negativity or bad thoughts today.

Also, I have to make mention of "S" who really showed me what he's all about. I wasnt able to go out with him last friday because of a prior engagement with my family, so I called him Saturday and left a message asking what he was doing that day. Never heard back from him. Still havent. And that's okay. If he wasnt willing to understand that, then its on him. It just wasnt meant to go any further than it did.

Which brings me to, oh my god, my FedEx driver. A total hottie. I could be a nice person, which we all know wouldnt be true, and have one big pick up. Nah, too easy. I give him one box, then call in another pick up...repeatedly. I even say, "Sorry, this came in after you picked up". He says, "No worries. Its ok. (wink)". I wanna go out with him tonight.

Ok, tonight. Ugh! I did something I shouldnt have. I swore I would never. I agreed to go out to dinner with Matt. I know, I know. Pretty damn stupid of me. But I figured that since I didnt want to spend Valentine's Day at home alone, I would let him buy me dinner. I also laid it out to him clearly. This in no way means that I want to be with you or that we are getting back together. Not happening. Not a chance in hell.

Yeah, I could definitely stand to see February 15th be here already.