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Get out (leave) right now...its the end of you and me
Written at 12:18 p.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2006

When I say this, I say it with as much patience, understanding, and compassion as I can possibly stomache...

...This was the lamest ass Valentine's Day. Probably ever. I knew I was making a huge (gigantic) mistake the minute I let "yes" pass through my lips. What I should have said was, "You are the biggest loser that I have ever met and I'd rather have a root canal, a colonoscopy AND a lobotomy instead." That would have been not far from the truth either.

I was specifically told that it would be an early night and that he'd get off work "early". When I was told "early", I didnt think it would mean that I would sit in my living room until close to 7:30 waiting, get in my car about to leave and almost hit his car as he arrived just as I was backing out. So I rolled down my window, "Now that you've finally arrived, can we attempt to go salvage what can be salvaged out of this Valentine's Day?" He wanted to go inside, use the restroom and (surprisingly) have a beer. Well, one beer turned into 3 or 4. So I just took my shoes off and went into the kitchen and cooked my own dinner. This was close to 8:00. That is insane to me. I went 90% of my day without eating just because I was looking forward to going OUT to dinner. By the time I made something, it was more my body telling me to get something in it before it turns on me and makes me sick.

Eventually, I got up and went into my room. I closed the door and went to sleep. I left him out on my sofa which is where he slept. Not that he had a chance in hell of sleeping anywhere else. When I left him this morning, I said to him with the biggest smile on my face and the nicest tone that I could manage to scrounge up, "Thank you for a wonderful Valentine's Day. I think it was the best damn Valentine's Day I've ever had." And I walked away.

He sickens me. Truly sickens me to the core of my body. Mostly my fault though. And I cant exactly say that any of it surprises me. Actually, it makes me pretty grateful. Grateful that I got out of that relationship with even a little of my sanity still intact. He's just so not worth it. He has got to be single-handedly one of life's biggest fuck-ups. And even that is being nice. Its just amazing to me that he never gets tired of being the loser that is constantly letting people down. Who knows, maybe its just me that he lets down. Nah. That's giving him too much credit.

Who cares? valentine's Day is over and its a new day and this whole thing is totally behind me now.