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Written at 11:37 a.m. on Friday, Feb. 24, 2006

This is what I'm talking about. Something is very, very wrong with me.

I am not hungry. Ever. I know I've said it a million times already. I have to literally look at the clock and count how many hours its been since I've last eaten. Or I get really sick.

Last night, more like this morning, at about 3 am I woke up and had the biggest headache and felt sick to my stomache. I ended up sitting in my kitchen at 3 am, when I should have been sleeping, eating plain bread because it was the quickest, easiest way to get something in my stomache. Something is very wrong here.

I was able to go back to bed until my alarm went off at 6:15. I still felt like crap, so I just hit snooze until about 10 minutes before I needed to leave for work. It took all I had to get out of bed, brush my hair and teeth, grab the first thing I could find to wear and finally get out the door.

My morning went by okay. For some reason, if you look like you're hung over and in pain, people try to stay clear of you. And if I dont totally feel run down, I sure as hell look it.

And my day didnt get any better when I called my neurologist's office. I need to find out exactly when to start taking my new shots. I have to schedule a nurse to come out and show me how to do it, so she's waiting on this too. I took this question to my neurologist's office. The receptionist said she would find out on call me back. She does. "Hi, Tracey. I'm calling from "Dr Schmuck"'s office. The doctor wants you to finish off med A and start on med B. Call if you have questions." Hell yeah I have questions. Pretty much my initial question that she didnt answer. The two med's are on different schedules, so I need to know exactly what day to start the new ones. Her answer..."I will have to ask him on Monday and call you back. He already seemed irritated when I asked the first time." What the fuck! My doctor, who I pay for, is irritated with my question. If he had sent me off with the knowledge in the first place, I wouldnt be asking him now. He's irritated? He has no idea how irritated I am.

So my next call was to my primary care doctor. In my calmest, passive voice..."You need to find me a new neurologist. I guess I'm irritating mine with one question that shouldnt be hard to answer." I told her that I refuse to go back to this guy, who I never felt comfortable with in the first place. I am putting MY healthcare in his hands and he's too fucking irritated for the receptionist to call back and get me my answer on how to correctly take care of myself. Fuck that. Did you hear that? That was the sound of me packing up all of my MRI films and test results and taking them to YET ANOTHER neurologist.

Right now, I'm taking my tired, frustrated, sick, pissed off ass home. Its Friday and I think I'm going to stop for Margaritas on my way home.