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Everyone's got to face down the demons...maybe today, we can put the past away
Written at 11:09 a.m. on Monday, Feb. 27, 2006

Its Monday already. Where, oh, where did my weekend go?

Lets see. Saturday was awesome. It was my go nowhere - do nothing day. I ended up spending my day at home watching the past week's DVR'd shows. Then at about 10:30-11:00 I started blending margaritas. I usually dont drink that early, but I figured since I didnt have to go anywhere that it'd be a great way to start my weekend. And it was. Just blending up drinks with no itinerary for my day to follow. It was all about me...and I loved it. (Angel-made very good use of the margarita glasses you gave me. The only thing missing was you.)

Then Sunday I figured I should see some sunshine since I drank away daylight hours drinking the day before. I got up and went out to have breakfast with a friend. Then I went to the home and garden place down the street to get some soil and plants and crap. I saw the cutest ladybug garden statue. I almost bought a bag of live ladybugs.

Other than that, I didnt really do much of anything this weekend. It was very nice and very appreciated.

I may have plans tomorrow to go out to dinner and drinks with a friend of mine. He's going to let me kow today when and where. I'm actually looking forward to it. I dont think there is anything there between the two of us. Actually, I'm pretty sure. But he's a very nice guy that I'd like to be friends with. And that is the beauty of this guy...he's one of the nicest guys and I know that if there were to be something there, he would let it move at my pace. No pushing...or pulling.

I do need to be able to move at a speed that I am comfortable with. I have spent a combined time of 10 years in two really jacked up relationships and I'm not in a big hurry to jump into another one any time soon. Just the thought of being in another relationship is enough to make me start breaking out in hives. I need to be my own person for a while. I dont want to have to think about someone else's needs right now. I can barely fullfill my own needs right now, let alone someone else's. I know that sounds incredibly thoughtless, but that's what I need to be right now.

I also put in my vacation time today. I'm taking off next Monday and Tuesday. I have alot going on next week. I have to schedule for the nurse to come out on Monday to show me how to take my new medication. Then on Monday also, I have another court thing with Matt. Nothing big, but its something I will want the day after off work for recovery.

So I'm going to make this week a good one. I just may go home tonight and make this a margarita Monday. If anything, I'll get drunk and pass out. A good night's sleep sounds amazingly wonderful to me.