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Written at 12:42 p.m. on Friday, Mar. 03, 2006

This has been an awkward week for me.

i am so scatterbrained today that I cant put things chronologically in order. What came first, the chicken or the egg...I couldnt tell you.

Lunch with "E" the other day was nice. There wasnt much behind it. I was able to expense my lunch with him because he is a vendor, so he didnt have to pay. Which in return, only inspired him to want to go out to lunch again next week when a co-worker of mine comes in from another office to go with us.

With everything feeling so hectic, I decided I needed some pampering. So I went down the street to get my nails done and get a massage. I was so relaxed until I was driving home and rear-ended some guy. Let me backtrack a little. At the beginning of the week it rained. And due to the rain I couldnt get my Ipod to play in the car at all with my Itrip. After the massage on my way out, I picked around at staions on the radio and surprisingly enough I found one that worked. On my way home I was stopping at a light and while I thought I was far enough away, I looked down for a split second for my Ipod to change songs. I only lightly hit him. He got out of his car and walked to mine. I could only roll down my window and say, "I'm not even going to fight you over this...no contest. Would you like my insurance information?" He looked at me, walked in between the back of his car and the front of mine, and said "No, there is no damage to either car so we're all good." Then he got into his car and drove away. Dont think for a second I dont know how very lucky I am and how very bad that really could've been. Personally, I think its karma for all of the people that have hit me that I just let go because there wasnt any damage. Karma's my friend. Although, now I feel as if I need to one-up the score to be ahead of the game. I have to go do something nice now.

And because of that...the Ipod is taking a sabatical from my car. Or at least on a "no touchie" status in the car at the moment. I got so freak'n lucky. I really did.

When I came home, I parked my car and went to get out and my key wouldnt come with me. I kept turning the car on and off, and trying again. Because I just wanted to get home, I figured I'd stop for gas on my way to work the next morning so I had very little gas. It was my car not wanting to fully go in park. A few years ago, I got a recall notice on something like this but when I went to the dealership they said I was okay. Damn car.

I finally got to my apartment. Just as I got inside a friend of mine called. He lives in Colorado now, but used to live down the street from me. We we're about 30 minutes into the conversation and he asked about my dating life. I told him it was non-existant. He said, "Mine is drama. I've been seeing someone for a couple of months." Then he kept talking about it and didnt think I noticed when he said it was "just some dude." I always thought it would never surprise me because I always thought he could be gay, but all of our mutual friends (and even he himself) always said he wasnt. So that never crossed my mind one way or another. Either way, I didnt really care.

About another 20 mins into the conversation, I asked him "Please dont tell me that when you were hanging out with (insert name of your choice here) that you two had something going on. That guy was the worst of the worst. He was totally out and highly flamboyant, but insisted more than anyone that my friend was straight.

Now, let me throw this disclaimer in...I in no way care about his sexual preference. I wouldnt care about anyone's. Its an individual choice and really noone's business. The ONLY thing that doesnt sit well with me is that we've been such good, close friends for so long and I'm just hearing about this now. We've had nights sitting out on his deck smoking cigarettes while taking shots and talking about very personal stuff. Why had this never come up before? Its just a little disheartening to have a friend you thought you knew so well, but later found out something that is an important part of their life, their character, their relationships. There had been so many things that he never told me that I almost felt like he was a stranger. It would've been different if he woke up one morning and had this huge epiphany that "Hey, I like guys". No, it was something he had been doing for a long time and various mutual friends knew. i dont know. Maybe I'm being silly. But he knows I'm such a non-judgemental person and we were (still are) so close that somewhere over the course of the last three years he could've said something to me.

Oh well. I only have to get through today to get my nice (very needed) four day weekend. I took Monday and Tuesday off work. I'm going to sit here and play with all of my cool-ass Mardi Gras beads that my boss just brought back from "Nawlins" today. And I didnt have to lift my shirt for any of them.

Which reminds me. This morning when I came into work, I was the first one so I had to disarm the security system. For some reason, it wouldnt recognize my code and just kept reading invalid code. After about 10 attempts, the alarm went off. Which was awesome because someone else sit if off yesterday. I love to start my days with a loud EEK EEK EEK in my ear. Its like music.

I think I'm going to go home tonight, have a few friends over and have my own little Mardi Gras. I think I more than deserve it.

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