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I want somebody to share, share the rest of my life...share my innermost thoughts, know my intimate details
Written at 10:36 a.m. on Thursday, Mar. 23, 2006

My life has always been this enigma of coinsidence.

Last night I went online to check my email and noticed an old high school friend online. So I sent him an IM. He's a friend from high school that I had the biggest crush on. My first crush to be accurate. He was also one of the last people I saw before I left Baltimore to move to CA. He came over and we watched movies. And for someone that had never flown before, Alive probably wasnt the best movie to rent.

Anyway, we're talking about jobs and he's telling me how he'll be coming to CA for business sometime in the next 3 months. Even better, because CA is a pretty big state, he'll be only 20-30 mins away. Awesome. But the best part is...he said he might be moving out here for a new position in his company and a new office they have here. I just about fell off my chair.

I need to clarify this. I still am in no position to even contemplate another relationship. Even though its something I would not rule out. I want a guy friend...that I've known for a long time...that knows me. I want to be able to say, "Look at that, it brings back memories. Do you remember that time in 10th grade when we ended up at the high school at 2am and hung out at the picnic tables?" Just have someone to hang with that goes way back that you have history with. He's going to call me tonight when I get off work.

The main thing I remember about him is when my mom thought it would be good for me to spend my summer at University of Maryland taking classes. We didnt have phones in our dorms, so every day at 5:00, I would call him when he got off work. I'd sit in the lobby for hours talking to him on the payphone.

His mother hated me though. "My mom does not hate you." what he always said. "Yeah well, if your mom didnt hate me then every time she subbed one of my classes, I wouldnt have ended up in the principal's office." He knows I was right. His dad didnt hate me. His dad was sweet and always nice to me. Dads liked me, but moms usually didnt. Its always been that way. Dont know why.

So talking to him just brightened my night. Its was well lit until about 11:00 when I got an incoming blocked call. Drunk off his ass. "Yeah, I've been thinking...we shouldnt be together." Oh my gawd! "You think? Duh. Listen, you're drunk...i'm not mad...but if you call me again, you will be standing in front of the same judge again." He was all drunk rambling off all the money he had to pay in fines. And how he has to pay $50 a week for a year (?? That didnt sound right) to take these court mandated classes. Good, hope he learned his lesson. He says he was calling to see how I was and make sure I'm okay. "I'm a fucking rock. Dont you worry about me."

My friend Lauren just called about getting together. She has this regular Thursday night thing that she wants me to start going with her to. She cant go tonight because of a prior engagement. Which coinsidentally enough happens to be the same thing that another friend invited me to if her son cant make it. How weird is that?

I really want to go if I can shake this headache by tonight. Its like the hangover that wont go away. And no amount of painkillers seems to, umm, kill it. I'm so tired. I've maybe slept a combined total of 12-14 hours over the last 3 days.

At least tomorrow is Friday. And a payday one at that!