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What part of no dont you understand, I've told you before...just get off my case, this isnt happening, stop this now
Written at 8:56 a.m. on Tuesday, Mar. 28, 2006

Time after time I paint myself in the corner. Damn, I hate this.

Yesterday "ThePro" called to find out about this Nascar thing. He couldnt do it because it was Monday and he just wanted to go home and sleep. I was all for it. I was tired too. I happened to be at the post office when he called. I was trying to get everything in the mailbox while talking to him. I made a comment about "it not going in". That didnt seem like anything sketchy, but he proceeded to tell me about how he can make a sexual reference out of anything. That right there brought the walls down. It makes me not even want to hang out with him at all. Let alone at my house.

I dont need it. I dont want it. I dont even want to have that kind of friendship with him. And bottom line is I dont want anything more than a cool friendship with him. Nothing. There is absolutely no way there is going to be anything more there. Its not going to happen. I'm stupid, but I'm not stupid enough to replace one jacked up relationship with another. And I'm smart enough to realize that I dont want to be with anyone, yet alone ready to be with anyone.

So with that being said, I'm not sure what's going to happen tonight. I'd like to just go home and sleep. Tonight is House and American Idol, so I dont want to taint my evening with Nascar.

Its finally raining here. And rain always puts me in a better mood. You would think it would make me all gloomy and depressed, but I love it. It rarely rains here, so its great when it does. I could live in Seattle and be happy with their weather. I'd rather be cold than hot.

What I really would love to do when I get home is grab the bottle of wine that has been in the refridgerator getting cold for days and go out and sit on my patio and watch it rain. Maybe read a book (or more realistically the Cosmo magazine that came in the mail yesterday).

I still have 7 more hours before I can do anything. Now that's depressing.

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