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Written at 12:23 p.m. on Wednesday, Apr. 05, 2006

I may be a constant complainer and sound like I'm never happy, but I still know how to appreciate the little things.

Its been raining here for days. Last night it was heavy rain. I heard it all night long. This morning as I was driving in to work, I saw the biggest, prettiest rainbow. From where I was at, I could see the end of the rainbow. No gold, but it was nice to look at.

Things have gotten better here. I dont know what it was, but you'd have sworn that I was short a medication or five. I've been going for walks when I get home from work. Still eating better, which in turn makes me feel better. Down another 5lbs from a few weeks ago. I'd be worried if I wasnt positive that I was losing it the right way. I can differentiate between the good way and the bad way now.

My shots are still kicking ass. I feel so much better lately. It makes me wonder why I waited so long to change. I have so much more energy now. And my balance and coordination are definitely on the incline. I almost feel like I did a few years ago when I still felt normal. And I still love the fact that I do it myself and dont rely on anyone to do it for me. That's very important to me. If I havent said it before, I dont want to have to rely on anyone for anything.

I'm stepping carefully still, but I have opened up to the possibility of things. There may even be someone that I might want to start hanging out with. I'm at least entertaining the idea. I've always beleived in not letting one person and their bad experience sour you for the rest. This guy is totally nice to me. Not the best looking guy in the world, but his kindness makes up for it. I'm so far beyond looks anyway. I just want a nice guy. And this guy is not bad looking by any means. He's just different than the usual cookie-cutter type of guy I'd normally be with.

I'm still trying to get back to Seattle soon. I may wait until the 4th of July weekend like I did last year. I already have the vacation days in for that time. I normally pull the short straw for the holidays and cant get it off because someone else always beats me to it. So I asked for the 3rd and 5th of July off...back in January. And my firend found me an awesome deal with his friend that works for an airline. So this just may work out.

I just may get my shit together after all.