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Written at 11:15 a.m. on Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006

I dont like playing this game. I never was very good at it. I've been blessed (?), cursed (?) with a nice 6 yr relationship with Curt and an almost 4 yr one with Matt.

I listened to some advise given (myself--asis and spit-swallow) who said pretty much the same thing...get some balls and pick up the phone. So I did. And this is a prime example of why I suck at this. The phone is ringing and I'm thinking to myself Do I want him to pick up or do I want to just leave a message? Then his voicemail picked up...and I'm just a friggin' dumbass all together. Hey, its Tracey. Just wanted to give you a call to say hi and see what you're up to. When you get a chance, give me a call...(left phone number)...Oh, and I wanted to see what you were doing this me a call.

I have to be honest here. I probably wouldnt give me a call back. That was the gist of what I said, but I'm sure there were alot more "ummmm's" in there. So we'll see.

Thing is...most people dont think, or at least dont think enough...I, on the other hand, THINK WAY TOO MUCH. When my little hamster starts spinning, he doesnt stop, he's in in for the marathon run. Matt used to tell me You think way too much. And you read too far into shit. Its just the way I am. I've always been like that. I'm always the one saying What do you mean by that? I know everything can be tken several ways. And I want to know EXACTLY how you meant it so I dont read things wrong. Its annoying to alot of people, but I cant help it.

I couldnt help sitting there wondering if he was just busy or staring at his phone Ugh, its that Tracey girl. VOICEMAIL. See, I do need to stop thinking.

So we'll see. But I did call.