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Written at 4:05 p.m. on Tuesday, May. 02, 2006

Its like waves. Or perhaps more like Einstein's theory of relativity. Every action does have an equal and opposite reaction.

I feel good one day, feel like crap the next and good again the day after that. There is no rhyme or reason to any of it. Thankfully now I'm feeling good, well decent, again. Like they say God doesnt give you more than you can handle. Well, I think God may sometimes think a little too highly of me and severely over-estimates me.

I called up today and made a reservation for the 1st weekend in June for a cottage/cabin at Big Bear Lake. I had so much fun last time I went. Walking around the lake and checking out the shops. This cottage sounds absolutely adorable. It has a fireplace, a kitchen and a jacuzzi. With the jacuzzi I may never even leave the place. I am so looking forward to this. I never go anywhere, I never do anything...I deserve this.

I think I am definitely going to start making more of an effort with things. I really dont put much effort in to much. If anything at all. I would start tonight, but I have a small situation at home to figure out.

I am the biggest wimp that there is when it comes to certain things. Like the time I heard, or thought I heard, a frog in my closet. I just closed the door and waited for the sound to go away. Its my ostrich theory. If I put my head in the sand, it will eventually go away. If I cant see it, then it cant se me. About a month ago I went to walk into my closet and when I flicked the light switch on I could hear it burn out. I have 10 foot ceilings so you know my ass wasnt changing it any time soon. So, being me, I just closed the door and left it alone. Then last night I woke up at about 3 am and saw that my closet light was on. Dont know how that happened. But it freaked me out. Its still freaking me out. My closet is becoming a very weird place.

My life is becoming this very weird place.