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With the status of my emotions, oh she says you're changing...we're always changing and it does not bother me to say
Written at 11:49 a.m. on Thursday, May. 11, 2006

Okay, now I'm just plain insulted.

Last night he called me. He = drunk, obnoxious guy. I talked to him but it was more me just listening and taking in what he was saying to me. he came right out and said he feels sorry for me. For me! He said it was more of a concern and not pity.

So I asked him about what specifically he is "concerned" with. He said it was me living in a tiny ass apartment all by myself. I assured him that I live alone by choice. Sure, I could probably cut my rent in half and have a roommate. But at what price? Now I dont have someone living with me that comes in at 2 am with friends and doesnt care how loud they are being. I dont have someone deciding for "us" when and how long the heater or air conditioner is on for. I dont have someone that thinks that 1/5 of anything isnt worth saving and throws it out. So would I want to cut my rent in half? Hell yes. Do I want to do that at the expense of having to go through all that? Hell no.

I think what it is, is that him being a man feels the need to be "the" man. That his job as a man is to take care of the lowly woman. Beleive you me, I dont need someone to take care of me. I've been taking care of myself sufficiently for about 12 years now. I told him that while his concern is nice, its just very unnessessary.

I look at it this way. own apartment. in brother's condo with brother and mother. Me...not a new car, but not a beater either. Him...old truck that looks like a big wheel with power steering. Me...job making a lot of money. Him...unemployed. So when you scrape away all of the crud and sludge and you get down to it...who should feel bad for whom?