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I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
Written at 3:46 p.m. on Sunday, Jun. 18, 2006

I have had the best weekend ever. This whole healing and moving on thing is easier than I thought.

I've been at Maria's house all weekend. Her husband is out of town and she didnt want to stay in that big 4 bedroom house all by herself. So I decided to keep her company.

Friday night we went up to this club in Long Beach. We did get lost on our way up there. We couldnt find the place because she gave me a three digit street address to mapquest when it was really a 4 digit street number. We were in the depths of the ghetto. I think she took us two or three cities away from where we needed to be. But we finally got there.

It was a cute little place. Absolutely packed, but fun nonetheless. I went in and ordered a beer right off. I dont normally drink beer but I was drawing a blank on what I wanted. Which I guess worked out good because somehow when I went back to the bar and ordered another Heineken the bartender pulled a glass out, added ice and started adding crazy alcohol. I dont know how he got Long Island ice tea out of Heineken but it worked for me. Three of those later and I was feeling nice. Very nice.

I met some very nice guys there. Some I'm going to keep and some that I'm going to throw back. Going back...Mike. He's this guy fine as I dont know what, but I could barely understand him. I gave him my number and yesterday got all kinds of calls about how I left to go outside with another guy. That guy would be Ben. Nice guy. No kids or ex-wives. Big Brownie points there. He bought me a Long Island, as if I needed another one, and we went outside on the patio to talk. He works with kids. Strong family values which could be good or bad. When it was time for the place to close he walked me out to the car. I sure wasnt driving, Maria did. We exchanged numbers and said goodbye. About 30 seconds after he left I was getting in her car and this guy, Eric, walked up to me. I noticed you looking at me tonight. Why didnt you come over and talk? First, I had no clue who he was and had no recollection of seeing him. Nice line. Then again, I probably wouldnt have recognized my own reflection in a mirror. He asked for my number, kissed me and then left. Not bad.

Saturday was a little more mellow. Mike from the night before kept calling about a place he wanted me and my friend to meet up with him and his friend at. Ironically enough it was the place we were intending to go to anyway. I just wanted to go and talk to people and not have to worry about pissing anyone off by it. So I didnt talk to him. Although, another night a few Long Islands in. I know Maria saw him but I didnt.

Later on I started talking to this guy, Eric. Totally different than the one I met the night before. This one was really nice. Like I said, it was another Long Island night, so it could have turned out bad. But when I needed to get food in me, he went up to the bar and got me something. And when I needed to find the restroom, he basically carried my drunk ass over there and waited outside the restrooms to drag me back. He was very nice to me. We talked alot actually. I was able to maintain conversation. He said that he was going to call me the next day and maybe meet up for coffee. I could've used the coffee right then and there, but the next day would work too.

Today. This is where it got interesting. First call of the day was Ben. He said he called my house and left a message on my home number too. I stayed at Maria's for a little while and then went home. When I got home there was one message there. Hi Tracey. Its about 9 am and you're probably sleeping but I wanted to call and see how you were feeling today. And if you are up to it, maybe get together tonight. Call me later. One problem. No name, no number. It sounded like Eric (#2), but it was Ben that said he left me a message at home. And this was the only message. I called Ben because I did know he called...my cell. So I wouldnt be calling someone back that didnt call me. I asked him about leaving a message at home. Seems he thought he did but my phone cut him off so I probably didnt get it. The message at home also said something about calling after 4:00. About 4:15 I was getting ready to call Eric back just taking a chance it was him. But he beat me to it and called my cell before I could call him. I made mention about the call at home. Yeah I called your cell too. WTF? I didnt have a message from him on my cell...that one was from Ben. I was all turned around. But I made plans to meet up with Eric later on tonight.

My gawd. When you call someone, leave a freakin' name. Or at least a number I can reference. I thought, still do think, that I might be going crazy. They may end up needing name tags too.

No more drinking for me. Okay, that might not be true. Tomorrow Becca is coming over since its her anniversary and she doesnt want to be alone. So I'll be the designated driver if we go out. If we stay in...pour me one too.

I'm sorry...who is this Matt creature that you speak of? Because I'm drawing a blank at the name.

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