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Written at 1:12 p.m. on Monday, Apr. 02, 2007

20 days. Wow. I cant even begin to explain how many times I sit down and begin to write something just to back space through half of it...then delete all of it.

Not too much has been going on here. Big surprise, eh.

I went out with "J" a few weeks ago. I'm not sure what it is. When I'm not with him, I want to be. But when I am...all I can do it keep looking at the time wishing I could leave.

I also had plans with "Partyguy" tonight that I had to reschedule for tomorrow. He keeps mentioning that he wants to take me away for a weekend to some casino...but stipulates "NOT VEGAS." I dont want to go to Vegas with him anyway.

I still am just not wanting anything...with anyone. I'm content with friends. Really, I am. I dont want to explain over and over why they have never been to my house. And for some reason because I said so just isnt enough.

I may be waiting for someone that may never come along. Might not even exist for that matter. But is it really worth all the blah until then. I like to think not. I'm completely beyond the not wanting to get close to someone. Its just the "right" someone, I suppose. Its pointless to spin my wheels with someone that I know I wont end up with. Pointless for me...and him.

I've got a little more tuning in here to do yet. And I think this month will be alot of that. I have got alot of family and friend things coming up this month. My niece's birthday...Becca's baby showers. Yes...that is plural. I also have the parenting classes too. It gives me a chance to step outside of myself for a little bit.

Hopefull I will have alot more to write about next time. =)