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Written at 4:10 p.m. on Wednesday, Aug. 20, 2008

Things are going pretty well for the time being. I really cant complain too much. I'm sure I will find something though.

There was a guy I had been seeing for a short time. I dont understand what my problem is. I find myself doing it alot. I'll look back on a person or place that held a really bright time in my life and I'll try to reconnect with it in hopes that it brings the same happy feeling back. But time after time not only does it not bring that happy time back, but it mars it and makes it not so pretty to look back on anymore.

Case in point...this guy. He was a guy that I met YEARS ago. Over three. We reconnected and I was happy. I always wondered in the back of my mind what wouldve happened if we had kept talking. Well, I found out. He was sweet at first...leaving me sweet messages and texts. But then it was almost like he got angry more often. I'd ask him to repeat himself if I didnt hear him...and he'd get rude. Or when I didnt leave a Saturday night open assuming that we would do something, it was my fault for not saying something. When really, I had plans. If he wanted to do something he should have said something before I made my plans.

So not only did it not work out, but it totally distorted my "what if" daydream knowing what wouldve happened. I think I was better off with not knowing.

Curt called me yesterday and we talked about meeting up since he is working in the area for a little while this week. I hope this isnt something that I will look back on and wish I hadnt ventured in to. Its always the ones that I think were the ones that got away that end up being....good...go. I am not sure what day we'll meet up. I thought tonight...but apparently he doesnt.

My aunt is in town from Seattle until the 23rd. She called and left a message on my home number while I was at work today. I cant seem to get anyone on either of the numbers they told me to call back on. I really want to see her while she is in town. Something tells me that it might not happen. And if it does, its going to involve me cancelling plans like I had to do the last time she came to town.

Saturday I am going to try this Colleen thing again. We're going to drive down to Romona to check on her horse. I just hope that she doesnt do what she did the last time. Friday at noon...we're not going...Friday at 8pm...we're going...Saturday 6am...we're not going...AGAIN.

Oky, so maybe I didnt find things to complain about. But I managed to do some bitching.

Also, should I be concerned that I am not at all upset that my date for tonight canceled on me earlier today. I was actually relieved.