Written at 2:33 pm on Sunday, November 30, 2008
At this present time...Life it great. It is beyond what I thought it would be. And in 4 days...it will be complete.
He will be here in 4 days. and I cant believe it is actually happening. We've done a lot of talking and really have an understanding about where each other has been, where we want to be and what we would like to happen. He is such an easy going person who pretty much just wants to make me happy. All else is second best to him. And he makes me happy beyond words. He tells me every chance he gets how much he loves me and how his life has changed because he found me again. My life has changed too.
Sometimes, I will sit here and get in to paranoia moments where I freak out about money, or work, or other random things. The other day I have to sit back and say to myself, during one of these neurotic moments, "Its ok, Tracey. Tom will be here soon and everything will be complete." And that is exactly how I feel. Just like I did in high school...Tom is here so nothing bad can happen to me. he always had a way of making me breath easier when he was around. Always. He is such a truly amazing person and I totally feel blessed that he wants to be a part of my life.
He was mentioning that he was having a goodbye party with some friends this week. I made a comment, "Just dont get arrested or put on body parts in places they dont belong." I was kidding with him. I trust him. He said, "Are you kidding. I have waited since high school to be with you...do you really think I am going to screw this up by cheating on you? That is something that you NEVER have to worry about." Made me feel good to have him say that. Even though I never doubted it for a second.
There is a level of comfort that is just there that was never there with Matt...or Curt. I am not so worried about things and I dont have this impending pressure that I used to have. I know that no matter what it is, we will get through it.
Speaking of Matt and Curt. I have heard from both of them recently. Curt called out of the blue yesterday just to say hello and see how I was doing. Matt, on the other hand, called me about a week ago. It was like 10:30 at night and he was calling to tell me that he had just gotten arrested. That is always a wonderful thing. When someone wakes you up to tell you that they are in jail. There was nothing I could do for him. I couldnt go down there and bail him out. Its ok...he's out now. He needed a few days to think about things.
So tomorrow is Monday and I am hating the fact that I have to go back to work tomorrow. But I am loving the thought that he will be here Friday at 1:30.